


the truth that flows between us

by thegothgal



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Prompt Fic, canon diverges a little bit to follow my version of things. it's fine.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-18 18:19:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16522259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegothgal/pseuds/thegothgal
Summary: The inevitable battle on the Star Forge is on the horizon, and Bastila is back with the crew, but she hasn't left her personal quarters in some time. Vanna — formerly Darth Revan — is worried about her.





	the truth that flows between us

**Author's Note:**

> for a prompt on tumblr
> 
> originally this was supposed to be a drabble, but I got carried away with my feelings about bastila's and revan's budding friendship, so here we are. it follows my version of events that I'm planning for a longer fic. this is my first piece for KOTOR so please be gentle and [come say hey](http://ebonshawk.tumblr.com) on tumblr if you want!

Vanna gently rapped her knuckles against the door, announcing her presence before entering Bastila’s quarters with a soft _whoosh_ of the door. Bastila was cross-legged on the floor with her hands resting on her knees and robes billowed around her, meditating, but didn’t bother to look up. She would know it was Vanna anyway through the bond they shared.

“I’m worried about you.”

Bastila still didn’t look up, not even opening her eyes to peek. “Me? Why?”

“Well, you haven’t left the room in a while, for starters.”

“I’ve been meditating. I... needed to clear my mind.”

Silence fell over them again. Determined to see this through, Vanna eased further into the room and settled onto the floor across from her. She could wait Bastila out until she was ready to talk. It was only a matter of time, considering how impatient Bastila could be, despite her stubborn nature. She would tire of Vanna intruding on her meditation and let down the wall she built to hide her emotions behind.

And she was right. Vanna had cleared her own mind of her thoughts, focused on the soft hum of the _Ebon Hawk_ ’s engines and energies of everyone on board, when the niggling sense of Bastila’s nervousness poked at her consciousness. It reminded her of the early days with Carth on Taris, sensing his underlying desire to talk about their situation and distrust, but this was deeper, almost part of herself as though the Force was spilling from Bastila into her.

“The bond we share,” Bastila finally began, causing Vanna to glance up, “it kept me from turning.”

“What do you mean?”

“Malak wanted to turn me into his acolyte. He tortured me, fed me lies about you and twisted my insecurity about the Order, but I clung to our bond. I knew the truth because I felt it in you.”

Vanna wasn’t sure what to say to that. She knew their bond was telling, considering she could feel just as much from Bastila as she did from her, but she also knew that Bastila was stronger than she gave herself credit. Sure, she was insecure and had her doubts. But nobody could coerce Bastila down a path that she did not want to take. Vanna just had no idea how to go about voicing that without immediately offending her and losing this large step in confidence.

She had been so worried from the time Bastila had been taken. At first, out of fear of what Malak would do to her, or if she would ever see her friend again. They hadn’t known each other long, technically, and they had started off on the wrong foot in more ways than one, but they had grown close. Their souls knew each other on an intimate level that only the Force could explain. And that was how she knew that Bastila was struggling with the aftermath of her capture, especially as they careened towards the inevitable—Bastila could lead the charge of the Republic forces with her battle meditation, Vanna would leave to face Malak on the Star Forge.

“Also, I didn’t say it before, but I’m sorry for my role in what the Council did to you.” Bastila reached for her hand, resting her own on top of it. “If I had known ahead of time...”

The unfinished thought weighed heavy between them. The unsaid _maybe I wouldn’t have made the same choice_ was powerful, and it threatened to crack the harsh exterior built around Vanna’s admittedly fragile heart, but it dissipated just as quickly. They both knew it was a lie.

A small smirk pulled at Vanna’s lips. “You still would have saved me.”

Bastila ducked her head, huffing a soft laugh. “Yes.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“Me, too.”

That had been on Vanna’s mind since she first learned the truth. She couldn’t remember her old self—only in fragments, pieces of memories that had been unlocked by Malak and resurfaced a little at a time, though they never quite resonated as real—but she knew what she had done. She had caused so much pain and destruction. Sometimes she wondered if she should have died on her flagship, or if she could have even been redeemed without the mind wipe, but then she would look at Bastila and think there had to be a reason why this young and promising Jedi had saved Revan.

“My memories are resurfacing,” Vanna admitted. It was only fair, considering how much had been shared with her. She saw Bastila in her peripheral glance at her with curiosity. “Not much, only pieces, and it feels disconnected from me in ways. But ever since he told me, it’s like I was unlocked.”

“The process that the Council used was not foolproof. Master Vrook worried about the risk of your true memory returning.”

Vanna scoffed. She wasn’t going to touch that subject. “It’s difficult. I know what Malak has done, but then these memories come to me, and he was my...”

“He was your friend.”

“My friend, my love,” she whispered, recalling flashes of two kids sparring and giggling on the Temple grounds as much as two young Knights sharing victorious kisses on the battlefield and the warmth of each other’s bodies pressed close in a tent away from the prying eyes of their soldiers. “No wonder he hates me so much.”

“Do not go down that road. Malak made his own choices.”

“Just as I made mine?”

Bastila squeezed her hand. They both knew that nothing could be said to that—Revan was given a second chance, albeit questionable and unfair, but Malak had not. Redemption was a fickle thing, as was fate. As was the will of the Force. But she was right, Vanna shouldn’t blame herself for how much farther that Malak had fallen.

“I want to go with you.”

Vanna gave her a sad smile. “The Republic needs your battle meditation. Besides, all of this was started by Revan and Malak, and so I need to face him alone.”

“I know you’re right, but I despise it.”

The silence that followed was a comfortable one, as if a weight that held them down had finally been lifted. Vanna supposed it had. Even with the looming threat of battle, something innately familiar in the pit of her gut from a life she barely remembered, she knew that they were there for each other—even across a galaxy, they would have each other—and their trust, their bond, was unbreakable. They could save the Republic together with their crew.

And she kept that in mind as they were offloading their friends, including Bastila. The time to go their separate ways to the final battle had arrived. The only ones who would follow Vanna were Carth and the droids, who all hovered behind her as she said her goodbyes to the others—for now. She was ready to leave, already halfway up the ramp when that _wait I have something to say_ feeling struck her again.

“Vanna?” She turned at Bastila’s voice, surprised when the other woman barreled into her, throwing her arms around Vanna’s neck. “May the Force be with you.”

“And with you, my friend. I’ll see you soon.”


End file.
